Changing for the better feels hard, and there’s a very good reason why it does. It’s because we cannot be better than we believe ourselves to be. It’s not possible. And what you believe to be true about yourself determines all of your behaviour, which then reinforces your beliefs.
Now that you know this, allow your wise self to use this information to liberate yourself. Your conscious awareness of the current state of your relationship to yourself and what that relationship produces is something that you can (and will) do something about. Very easily.
To create seemingly effortless change in yourself that is reflected back to you in the mirror that is your life, the single most influential thing that you can do is to cultivate a better relationship with yourself. In essence this is the practice of making and keeping your word to yourself by including things in your life that make you feel good on purpose.
Here’s how you work on the inside: If you feel adequate, competent, and like you’re enough, you’re automatically less defensive, less angered by criticism, less devastated if you don’t get a raise or praise. You’re naturally less anxious about showing up for work; less afraid to make decisions. You can appreciate and praise others and feel more at home in your body. And in your life.
And you know that you really, truly, impossibly can’t actually die from embarrassment. This alone renews your willingness to try new things in the spirit of freedom. You see that you have choices and can generate more when you need to because you are free to create in the moment. You actually see how to do that!
And here’s what else happens on the inside: If you feel significant, important and worthwhile to yourself, you don’t mind sharing the spotlight with others. Nor do you resent others who draw attention to themselves because you’re not worried about being ignored. You are also not afraid of being in the spotlight when that is what the situation calls for. You can listen to others and consider alternate opinions and points of view. You understand and empathize without necessarily agreeing.
You are also able to ask for what you need and want because you are willing to have those things in your life. You accept that you are worthy of being treated well and deserve a great life. You are less defensive and more your real self.
And there’s more in there: If you like yourself and accept yourself, you are much less likely to take offense or take things personally. You see that what comes from someone else is only about what’s going on within them – how they see the world, how they see themselves in it and that their words and deeds are merely a reflection of the relationship that they have with themselves.
You are more just, less judging of others and enjoy more satisfying relationships. It’s easier to fully explore thoughts, feelings and needs because you no longer criticize, judge, blame analyze or diagnose yourself. You accept all parts of yourself and others. You live your own life with more courage and authenticity. Your behaviour towards others is no longer generated from a fear of being rejected by them and you feel more at ease showing others the real you.
Want to start seeing the results of steps taken in the direction of cultivating a better relationship with yourself? Sign up for the free Itty-bitty career bliss course by clicking here.
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