He is pretty consistant with his questions and keeps us guessing what he may ask next. If he is worried and you ask him specifics like that, he will probably tell you the truth - at this age anyway. Directed by Hal Ashby. Directed by Craig William Macneill. And every child goes through it - most that I am aware of anyway. Let me work on getting some help for him in the coming days. check out all the sources including funerals etc,etc, if you come up with nothing and you cannot convince your child that no one is gonna murder any of you then, you may need to seek out therapy for your child. Young Children and the Fear of Death Ten soothing solutions to help your child through a worry patch. it could have been at someone Else's home on their t.v. Surgery was performed to remove the affected area, followed by 6 months of chemo that is nearly complete. Best of luck! I am no stranger to worry. Another time before that was If God made us, who made God? Over the last several months he is obsessed that someone is going to break into the house and murder us all. My wife didn't come back in 10 mins, and my son thought she was dead and was crying and screaming despite my attempts at convincing him that she is simply shopping and will be out soon. In fact, we have had little or no exposure to death. As adults, we all wonder about this too, we may not talk about it much, but we all wonder. More than likely he may say.. "hmm i dunno"., then you'd say "Me neither and I don't think it'd ever happen.." and then redirect the thoughts into something positive.. like "so what are we going to have for dinner tonight.. any suggestions?". cheatedon Thu 18-Mar-10 13:05:46. In the last month, my son has been overwhelmed by the thought of death and abandonment. But please, do respect him as a human being. I would def. We have screen time rules, and the only screen we have is tv. Maybe he thinks that people often randomly drop dead all of a sudden, and you should assure him that that's not the case. nawlinsmom. Show him your bed time routine: these are the doors that we lock, these are the windows we close and lock, these are the curtains/blinds we pull, here is our telephone in case something should ever happen, etc. You need to be careful about just what programs you are watching on tv. I don't think counseling would harm anything, but I don't know that it's concerning either. He keeps saying "Mommy, I don't want to die for a long long long time!" Help please. Not only that, but he has come up with some really weird scenarios to try to rationalize the concept. By Amanda Colbert Jul 11, 2019. If it's hindering his ability to focus or continue with day-to-day activities, then he probably should see someone though. He tells me "noooooooooo, she's dead.". My brother's death occured a year ago and it's suddenly affecting me very strongly. It is a natural thing to wonder about death, life, and where we will go after this life...to a point that is. Still have questions? We tell them that no one knows exactly how long they’ll live but most people get to live a long and happy life, and we hope that that is true for us and that we’ll get to live a long and happy life. Curious., what was your response to the God question? We were once watching a movie and a person got stabbed and he laughed and said that guy deserved it. He is terrified that he (or any of us) is going to die. Let me preface all of this with the fact that my Dad was diagnosed pancreatic cancer in Dec 2017. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Child development psychologists explain it's perfectly normal for kids! As a parent, it's hard to find the right words when your little one starts asking questions about death. At 6 years old, children will exhibit a wide range of new physical skills. Are you screening his movie and TV viewing? Let him participate in your family safety. My 6 year old son recently started thinking about death. does it annoy you people are staying with their parents in their late teens and living off their parents expense while we all have no money. I want to die. with sleeping in the dark at night and being alone when he comes from school and no one is home, be patience it may take awhile but he will be all right. Photo: Tara-Michelle Ziniuk. or did your child possible see this off t.v. My son is always asking about death or dying. has anyone died recently in your family? I'll contact his pediatrician this week, thank you. My teen was the one that had the fear problem about dieing, monsters, ghosts, and people breaking in. Email Twitter Facebook Google+ Linked In Pin It. She knows that every living thing eventually dies. To give them credit it is quite a complex idea for a five-year-old to get a grips of, let alone a three-and-a-half-year-old. Mom said she wishes I was never born when she was very angry. It was caught very early, and they wouldn't even give it a stage. If he had small experiences with death when he was younger, like seeing a dead bird on the road, a pet fish dying, and the resulting conversations about death, he would have had a chance to understand what death is and what it means. No one he is close to has died but he has recently been enamored with people dying. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She's beginning to realize that a life cycle includes both birth and death and that death is final. I've tried to tell him "Mom is coming home soon, she is just at the gym and it takes some time to drive home." Scary scene in college hoops game after player collapses, 'Christmas Star' to appear for first time in centuries, Cartoonist's widow addresses 'Charlie Brown' controversy, Wis. judge: Trump election lawsuit 'smacks of racism'. Hes always talking about corpses and mutilated humans. cut down TV consume, and try to distract your son with playfull things. The other day he asked me if a big knife could go through his comforter and kill him. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. I think it's good that you are concerned. You can sign in to vote the answer. Anna has started asking question after question about death. Specifically killing people. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. Fill his life with story books and games, and be in control with whom he plays with. They can help him develop strategies to cope with such strong emotions. Trucks with first COVID-19 vaccine get ready to roll, Young and fit, Olympian owes life to early cancer screening, Fox TV host, entire family test positive for COVID-19, Scammers are trying to rob Amazon Prime users of $800, Writer sparks backlash for calling Jill Biden 'kiddo', Lawmaker wants penalty for backers of Texas lawsuit. She doesn’t act out but she constantly talks about killing people and makes extremely inappropriate jokes regarding death and murder. I keep on wanting to commit suicide, can you help? Causality (i.e., causes of death) Children's lack of understanding of these ideas affects their ability to process what happened and cope with their feelin… There have been no deaths in our family. If you chose not to believe what the Bible says, than I have no other advice for you except keep him from TV, games and people that have to do with the subject. In my view, If your son is just learning about death now, and his first (potential) experience with it had an emotional family connection, then his thoughts are perfectly normal. He doesn't seem to understand. My boys grew up with controlled TV...that is no TV during the week, and on weekends selected children movies. Therapy helps with rationalizing and mindfulness. why is my 6 year old fascinated with death? So I want to die but ; Why oh why oh why Another time before that was If God made us, who made God? Should I employ the help of a professional psychotherapist at this time? With Ruth Gordon, Bud Cort, Vivian Pickles, Cyril Cusack. I'm at a loss as to what to tell him! I have asked him what makes him think about it - something that he learned about in school, saw on TV, read in a book, etc., and he says he didn't hear about it anywhere. He should know that it's a serious illness that sometimes happens to old people. While your unique personality and experiences influence how you think and feel about death, there are also other factors. It wasn't long after that when my grandmother starting caring for her brother. Your 7-year-old enjoys a multitude of physical activities, from playing in the backyard to shooting a ball through a basketball hoop. :). My son is always asking about death or dying. Help please. A few days later she woke up and the first thing out of her mouth was, "I want to die so I can be with my Daddy." Take him to an expert on esp, and have them give him a test, it is possible that your son is showing early stages of being psychic. Should you make sure someone recovering from an operation is in a satisfactory state? My 7 year old son whom I adopted at birth, who was born addicted to Methadone and Herion, has ADHD, Hepatitis C and some eye conditions and who has been through a lot for his young age medically but has always always been a happy go lucky, … Also, if you have any religious beliefs, you should also talk to him about the after-life (if relevant). Death and dying kind of freak ME out, I'm not so keen on talking about it with my 5 year old. When he asks the questions you do the talking.. if you ask the question in return and keep him answering, he's doing the talking. no one my son knows has ever died. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. There will also be a natural variation in growth rates, wi… From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. I was always petrified if my parent was late picking me up from dance class or school because I thought they got into a car accident and they were dead. My granddaughter is 6, and sometimes seems to be obsessed with death and dying. He doesn't sleep for days so has been put on sleeping tablets but while asleep he sleep walks and has night terrors. Like the grandparents. My girlfriend acts like I cheat but I dont, should I might as well? We have not had a family berevement and we dont have pets so we've not had to deal with a pet dying. For example, the culture you were raised in, as well as the one you are livin… Talking about death with a 6-year-old . Is this a phase? Young, rich, and obsessed with death, Harold finds himself changed forever when he meets lively septuagenarian Maude at a funeral. I'm trying to recall if I had those feelings too. Is this final sporting snapshot of Trump presidency? Finality (i.e., all functioning stops with death) 3. It's beginning to concern me a little and I'm basically checking in here to see what my best course of action is. These activities help make her physically adept and provide her with strong large-motor skills. We have said things to him much like your last paragraph. Another trigger was when my mom would go into the bank, I was terrified she would be killed in a robbery gone wrong. Something triggered this. Share Share Tweet Email Comment. I still haven't recieved a straight answer on that one from my parents to this day! In my opinion, that's the only way you'll really figure out what he's truly thinking. 5-9 Year Old’s Understanding of Death. And TV.. good grief it's getting bad. Pets, and people, die. I'm with them almost every Friday night and all weekend; I have friends but I tend to like to be home a lot with my kids to do family things, as does my wife. Your 6-year-old now. Joined: Apr 4, 2000 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0 Location: Aspen, CO, USA. Do you think she meant it? After he goes to bed, he will get up and come into our room crying because "he is afraid of dying, and he doesn't want us (mom and dad) to die either." At night I kiss him good night and he says that this life is just a dream. I’m not sure what made me stop having those exact fears. I would lay in bed at night thinking about how they would die one day and just cry and cry. She knows that she lives in the house where her mother's grandmother lived before she died, and talks about how sad it is that she never got to meet … The other day he asked me if a big knife could go through his comforter and kill him. I would look at what might have caused the sudden realization and discuss how to talk to her about it with her dad and maybe your own mother. I would be very concerned if a 6 yr old has obsessions about death issues. obsessed with a man half my age; I am obsessed. My daughter went through some of those things at that age and my son now six has started asking about death too. Five to nine year-olds typically begin to realize the finality of death and that all living things die, but they do not see death as relating to them directly. Some more than others. None of my children ever talked that way. As a parent you really need to be the detective and ask yourself these questions: Why is my son so obsessed with death, WHEN did these questions regarding death start, What is the purpose my son keeps asking these questions, Who is telling him or giving him the fuel to feed his obsessions, and lastly HOW can I make my son feel more secure. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Updated on January 11, 2007 S.H ... My 6 year old daughter has been through a lot of deaths in her short little life. My 5-year-old son is obsessed with death. Is it bad to still be living with your parents at 20? Seemingly overnight, your child has morphed from a chubby toddler to a lanky grade-schooler whose limbs seem to be growing every day. Your son could've been molested and maybe these death questions are from being traumatized. During this stage of child development, referred to as middle childhood, kids can grow an average of 2 to 2.5 inches per year. Discussion in 'Children's Past Lives -Age 7 & under' started by jasobel, Oct 13, 2001. jasobel Senior Registered. He doesn't have an iPad, I don't let him play on my phone. I have a nine-year-old daughter who recently has become obsessed, and really upset, about the possibility of both her parents growing old and dying. Obviously you are a good parent. The fairy tale only makes people angry at others for imagined debts. They also tend to visualize death as being a skeleton, the angel of death, the grim reaper, etc. We simply said PopPop has a booboo in his belly, and we're getting it fixed and he is going to be just fine. I have a 5 year old son, and he's always been obsessed with death and killing. Reassure him with real ways that you safeguard your family. or has their been any ambulances in your area that may have unintentionally made your child afraid? Children tend to question life and death about that age. Then tell him what a good, safe job he's done. My wife went in, I stayed in the car with the kids. Why should I move out of my family home and live with a bunch of strangers? Even though raising kids its the toughest thing I've had to do, I love spending time with both of them. We have never talked about death with my son, so this pattern of recent behavior seems to be coming out of no where. When I pick him up at school, every teacher or administrator - even those not involved in his daily care - comes to me and says what a great, nice kid. I think your daughter may be picking up some of your feelings about death … I don't want to see him suffering. At this point I would even illiminate TV viewing unless it was educational like Sesame street or Mr. When he asks you questions, ask another in return instead of answering and then redirect into a positive thought. May 21, 2010 . "Booboo in the belly" to describe cancer may have been too simplistic for a 6-year old. My 4 year old is obsessed with talking about death/dying/killing ..... (9 Posts) Add message | Report. An hour ago, he was inconsolable because my wife wasn't back from the gym yet, and he insists she's dead. I wouldnt worry about it unless he doesnt ever move on to a new topic(which he will). An intimate portrait of a 9-year-old sociopath's growing fascination with death. For me the “we have never talked about death with my son” sentence in your post is interesting. Our kids (5 and 7) will periodically re-visit the concept of death and express worries about family dying. I would first question what made him aware of death. Two weeks ago, the 4 of us (my, my wife, my son and our daughter) drove to Target. We're very involved with our kid's lives when we're not working; we both work 9-5's, but before and after we're always eating as a family and doing things as a family unit. He is such a nice, sweet kid. There are so many influences these days.. it just gets worse and worse.. much of the music is horrible, the friends he is around have the biggest influence - probably much stronger than yours most of the time. My four-year-old daughter has suddenly become obsessed with death. How do you think about the answers? They are happy children and we have a very secure happy and stable family. It's not hindering his ability to focus or anything day-to-day. Now, in my very early twenties, I am less obsessed with death than I was as a child. I don't even watch TV anymore because it's so freaking pointless. Every four-year-old is obsessed with death - & it might seem a little creepy. Ive dealt with pretty intense anxiety my whole life now. And he really isn't at the age that he's at a friends house all the time. I have checked with the school, and none of the children have experienced bereavement. I'm sure I did, I just can't remember specifically. If he asks if a knife could go through his comforter.. My daughter who is 5 has always had extreme anxiety that she would lose me. We haven't had a serious conversation about it. I actually did this from ages 6-10. Usually you can just let it go through it's phase.. but if ignored it could become more serious - better to resolve it now than later in my opinion. 6 year old always talking about dying and killing..... (10 Posts) Add message | Report. GodRestYeMerryNORTHERNERs Mon 18-Dec-06 15:15:41. We've certainly said in context about birds and ants and things like that they have died and they have gone to animal heaven. this is okay as its for the best interest of your child. By Tara-Michelle Ziniuk December 3, 2014. I'm surprised that so many of you say that is natural. They can feed this insecurity. My child is obsessed with us dying. I feel so bad for him. We never told my son "cancer". We haven't gone any deeper; what it means to be dead as a human, and the impacts of death on family members, and on yourself. My Dad is mobile all throughout this chemo, and while he does have a day or two where is exhausted during the week, he still is out mowing the lawn, and running errands and so forth. Six is somewhat of a transition age regarding a child's ability to understand death. Okay, what you need to do first is ask him why he is asking these questions. My oldest DS has just turned 6, he is a great kid, he's friendly, shy, polite, finds it quite difficult to express his feelings and tends to build up to the odd explosion! Over the last several months he is obsessed that someone is going to break into the house and murder us all. this is most likely the source. I think there is an insecurity in where they will wind up after death and also in just how safe they are. With David Morse, Jared Breeze, Rainn Wilson, Bill Sage. Thanks for this. Hello, About a month ago, my 6 year old son (7 in October) has some rather odd consuming fears about death and abandonment. Some people seem to be inherently more at peace with death; whether premature or at the end of a long life.3 Others find the dying process difficult to face no matter how old they get or how often they experience the death of a loved one. the child is young so the real professionals can figure out something you cant. Share this . Child Obsessed with Death. what I did was to buy children’s books about fear and anything else that he was afraid of. The Pittsburgh synagogue shooting was a mass shooting that took place on October 27, 2018, at the Tree of Life – Or L'Simcha Congregation in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.The congregation, along with New Light Congregation and Congregation Dor Hadash, which also worshipped in the building, was attacked during Shabbat morning services. Is there something bothering him? How can I cope? And that's so nice to hear, which is why this part is so difficult. He’s just working through what it means because he’s cognitively mature enough to understand that if an older person is sick or injured, they could die (even if that wasn’t mentioned explicitly). I think most kids have probably had those types of experiences and resulting conversations well before 6, and it’s a bit surprising that isn’t the case for your son. We would read it at night just so he would understand that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. They have magical thinking that somehow they can escape death. About a month ago, my 6 year old son (7 in October) has some rather odd consuming fears about death and abandonment. What is the easiest way to do that? If his obessions continue you should really have him evaluated by a child psychologist. But I can recall needing to be comforted at bedtime because I didn't want my parents or siblings or dog to die. can my mom file a missing persons report on me because I am not giving her my address? That is how life goes. Some may show natural athleticism while others will work on accomplishing simple skills such as throwing or catching a ball. My advice is to get a Bible, learn about what God says about this subject, it's all in there, the Bible I mean. I enjoy almost every moment. Its just scary for a boy his age! maybe, he has some phobia regarding death? We have our share of disagreements, but he's really a good kid. I have 2 boys, a 5 and a 3 year old. Poor little guy, it must be hard to see your son get so scared and upset , I'd talk with your child's pediatrician first and go from there, I'm sure they would set you up with a referral of sorts if they think its necessary, Good luck. In his nativity play he didn't want to be Joseph he wanted to be 'the man who kills jesus', if he gets red felt pen on him it's really blood and he's going to die, if I tell him to not climb on walls he says 'Why? At various developmental levels, children have a different understanding of the finality of death. Before you go to a counselor, I think you should explain to him what death is. What it means, the finality of it. My Dad is doing well, and the prognosis is excellent. At school, he worries no one will pick him up "because we're all dead". My six-year-old son Ryan has become obsessed with death. Just last night she became teary remembering her aunt's dog dying. From the U.S.: My 12 year old daughter has recently become obsessed with violence. Or let him write or draw about his feelings. And every Wednesday I am always here cooking dinner and eating with them. Rogers!!!! If your son is obsessing about it though, I would really monitor the TV, movies, games he plays, and what others tell him. I mean, he (and you guys) get tummy aches once in awhile, right, and he might think that any random tummy ache can escalate into serious, long-term illness (which he witnessed happening to his grandfather). Share; na. When is it time to call it a day? As much as parents would like to protect their children from the harsh realities of life, it isn't always possible. Your approach to discussing death will depend on your child's level of understanding of 4 main concepts of death: 1. Maybe it's part of realizing what exactly dying means. (i’m 20) details below? My wife goes to the gym every Wednesday at 5:30 and is back at 7:30 all of the time, and this has been going on every Wednesday since before he was alive. Now my 6 year old niece lost her father recently and that was a very different story. I'll revisit the concept with him this weekend and we'll have a little talk with him, see if I can start there. I’d recommend getting your son a professional to talk to. When I was young, I suddenly became almost obsessed with the concept of death. Inevitability (i.e., death is universal for all living things) 4. Now it is O.K. QUESTION My 11-year-old daughter (who is an only child) gets very upset at night when she is going to bed. My son spends a lot of time with both my parents and my wife's parents because my wife and I work, and when the kids aren't at school or camp, the grandparents watch both of them. I was always afraid my whole family would die and I’d be the only one left. Irreversibility (i.e., death is permanent) 2. I would respond with "I can't think of anybody that would want to do something like that.. who do you think would want to do something like that?" Also ask him about his dreams, and if he is having dreams about death, be concerned about what he tells you, this is the age where humans are most connected to the supernatural, and have prophetic dreams. Do ask for permission to read. They too became buddies before he passed away. Just trying to get a grasp on what I might be dealing with here, thank you. Advertisement The topic of death seems to come up quite a lot in our house. My Mom is alive and well, as are my wife's parents. Is this normal? My father was born in 1934. 7 year old obsession with death. He talks about it constantly. When my wife came home, he was 100% in less than a minute and back to his normal smiling, laughing self. As a temporary solution: get people to talk about that with him. She thinks both her father and I are going to be killed and she will be left alone. She claims she Fine-motor skills are still developing, making handwriting and tying shoes still difficult. My wife is upstairs right now consoling him. And that is one of the many reasons he has to turn into an independent adult. Not because I have seen more of it, or because I mistakenly believe that the people I love are not perishable. Press J to jump to the feed. I Am 49 years of age and a mother of three sons 24, 23, 16. My preschooler is obsessed with death. They don't know the difference between reality and fiction. Posted Feb 09, 2018 Get your answers by asking now. I'm sure children see things on television that they can't cope with. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. So difficult positive thought person got stabbed and he insists she 's dead ``... Do n't know the difference between reality and fiction very angry only one left 'll really figure out he! Home and live with a bunch of strangers of cookies street or.... Mostly a lurker here but have come for some advise or thoughts was young, I became. Was to buy children ’ s books about fear and anything else that 's. Will exhibit a wide range of new physical skills into the bank, I n't!, rich, and be in control with whom he plays with this! 'Ve had to do first is ask him specifics like that, but I can recall needing be!, rich, and he says that this life is just a dream will ) its the thing. Going to be killed and she will be left alone or let him play on my phone always asking death. Cyril Cusack to buy children ’ s books about fear and anything else that he was of! With them did, I 'm basically checking in here to see what my course! Time before that was if God made us, who made God a ball the car with the that. On your child part of realizing what exactly dying means my grandfather who passed away when was... Only that, but he has to turn into an independent adult an hour ago, culture... Big knife could go through his comforter and kill him it could been... Aware of anyway or catching a ball through a worry patch wonder about too... Would lay in bed at night I kiss him good night and he that... Soothing solutions to help your child possible see this off t.v or siblings or dog to for. Drove to Target down TV consume, and try to distract your a... Have unintentionally made your child possible see this off t.v Maude at a friends house the. Giving her my address and people breaking in new comments can not be cast sure! Describe cancer may have been at someone else 's home on their t.v then tell him death... The school, and sometimes seems to be careful about just what programs you are concerned strong... Well as ups and downs of child-rearing beliefs, you should really him! -Age 7 & under ' started by jasobel, Oct 13, 2001. jasobel Senior Registered truth - this! Her with strong large-motor skills so keen on talking about it than I was young, rich and! A big knife could go through his comforter and kill him people dying permanent ) 2 agree you... And people breaking in by Craig William Macneill away when she is going die... Probably should see someone though just last night she became teary remembering her aunt 's dog dying be. What made me stop having those exact fears, CO, USA sometimes seems be... One will pick him up `` because we 're all dead '' do first ask. ) 3 daughter has suddenly become obsessed with a pet dying and death about with! Or dog to die another time before that was a very secure happy and stable family recieved a straight on! Our share of disagreements, but he has recently become obsessed with the fact that my Dad is well. Me the “ we have a different understanding of the children have a different understanding of 4 main of... After-Life ( if relevant ) of recent behavior seems to come up with really... Our kids ( 5 and 7 ) will periodically re-visit the concept that with him to! Prognosis is excellent sleep walks and has night terrors like your last.. To distract your son a professional psychotherapist at this age anyway think there is an only child gets.